Friday, May 05, 2006

Baptists aren't just evil, they're truly stupid

Police say a Bible college student charged with setting fire to an adult bookstore confessed to the crime after realizing it was a sin.

Benjamin Daniel Warren, 20, is a student at Crown College, a fundamental Baptist college and seminary of about 900 students in Knoxville.

Is Jerry Falwell afraid he's gay?

It might explain his psychopathic hatred.

Southern Baptists support Health Care industry that keeps us sick

If we were healthy, they couldn't rob us twice--from our bank accounts and from the Treasury.

Falwell: "Clinton made Porter Goss party with hookers"

Only a theophysicist at Liberty University (sic) could measure the irony of all that republican whoring at the Watergate Hotel. It used to be a librul icon of freedom. Now it's a republican hangout for corporate whores...and their hookers.

Mothers who want to work not eligible for Family Values

Uppity women should stay at home and stop trying to become lesbians out to destroy capitalism.

Remember when West Point graduates upheld the honor code?

Under Bu$h, it no longer applies.

West Point declares war on honorable graduates

They've forgotten that wars make republicans rich and provide defense jobs for retired generals.

Campbellites never heard of Darfur

Theofascists in the Church of Christ don't bother with those people. Probably because they play instruments in church.

Constitution 1, theofascist separatists 0

This is why Jerry Falwell hates those activist judges: They're all the time ramming the Constitution down his neck.

Sex slavery doesn't bother Southern Baptists

But if a person buys a flag with his own money, and tries to burn it as the First Amendment says he can since it's private property, boy-howdy, do they get riled up. They're all real patriotic, see, they just aren't able to wear their country's uniform. They love the war and the guy who started it. And it's okay with them that other people's children die in it in their places. They'll stay here and put more stickers and magnets on their cars.

Actual christians stand up to theofascist bullies

Theophysicists at Liberty University (sic) have proved that there is a finite number of possible marriages in the universe. If a gay couple get married, a straight couple will have to get divorced. It's like a pipeline, you see, with just so much room. If one goes in, another gets pushed out. It's theophysics. It's in the Bible.

Tony Perkins doesn't care if old people can't see to get around

When old people become too much trouble, they don't deserve any family values.

James Dobson says poor people should starve to death

They're a distraction from his war on public education.

Pat Robertson hopes AIDS orphans all die soon

His Liberian gold mines are more important.

Jerry Falwell doesn't care about children with Lupus

He's too busy rewriting the Bible into the King George Version. "And on the eighth day, God created America."

Republicans don't want Indiana veterans to vote

Veterans have no use for Bu$hCo, republicans have no use for veterans.

Bu$h makes Old Glory international RPG magnet

World Cup team buses won't fly flag for security reasons.

Protestant theofascists mimic Catholic church: Keep poor people laden with too many babies

It protects the rich from the poor. Just like police do.

Jebya renounces Constitution. Will Florida secede?

Theme park another step toward independent theofascist colony.

Ralph Reed: Corporate whore

When did lobbying become "ministry?"

Theo-Big Bang: Falwell's head explodes

Unable to accept new theory that universe is one trillion years old. Science weakens his power over stupid people who feed his ego and off-shore bank accounts.

Tony Perkins likes torture

Supports Gonzales' defense of torturing people who haven't been convicted of anything.

James Dobson wants another Cold War with Russia

Applauds Cheney's efforts to foment one since it'll make republicans richer and more able to rid Amerika of queers, judges and libruls.

Pat Robertson doesn't mind that CIA's Goss liked hookers

Judges and race horses matter more.

Squinty tries to remember glory days of yore when he could intimidate queers and libruls.

Jerry Falwell approves of self-promoting, republican gay escorts

Hey, Gannon doesn't want to get married, does he? Well, then, what's the problem?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thank God Bu$h gave no-bid contracts to his friends up after Katrina

They only bilked you and me out of $63 BILLION FRACKIN' DOLLARS!

Jerry Falwell doesn't care about missing and exploited children

Queers who want to get married are more important to him. Falwell says Jesus said, "Let the little children who come to me suffer."

Bu$h's National ID plot is from Stalin's handbook

Remember when republicans said Democrats were the communists?

Republican pervert on the loose!

Former DHS scumbag out on bail. Falwell mum, too busy with judges to care about children.

Bu$h doesn't care about airport security

Neither do his incompetent toadies.

Laura Bu$h was for singing the National Anthem in Spanish before she was against it

Flip-flops in just 25 seconds. See the video.

Theofascists work to control your prescriptions

The Gubmnt must leave them alone so they don't have to leave us alone.

Dumsfeld lies about lying about WMDs

The troops believed it because YOU told them, you lying liar!

Bu$h general tells lies about WMDs

If this was true, we'd have known about it long before now. FAUXNEWZ would have been trumpeting it hourly.

Bu$h's friends on parade: Another expensive war toy that doesn't work

F-22 fighter locks pilot inside for five hours. Firefighters saw him out. Lockheed profits soar. Bu$h gives his friends baskets of our money for crap that doesn't work.

Lying, hate "traditional values" for theofascist Coalition

They know they're lying. Too bad their mindless minions are too stupid to realize it.

Bu$h sics FBI on faith-based peaceniks for being of wrong faith

Must be theofascist to avoid such persecution. No other faiths count in Bu$h's Amerika.

Beware gas mileage scams. Republicans are behind every one.

Inflate your tires properly, get a tune-up, oil change, filters, empty your trunk, and drive wisely. That's how you save gas.

Big Oil winning war on small businesses

Everything they say about how competition is good for us all is a lie. They mean for five people to own everything.

Late-night comics do what worthlesscorporatemedia won't

Bu$h's fascist junta and its minions at FAUXNEWZ and on AMhateradio no longer intimidate patriots.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Next year's cars unveiled

The only ones we'll be able to afford to drive if republicans remain in power.

Call them all Bu$hmobiles.




The terists are coming! The terists are coming! Again.

Only Bu$h can protect mass transit.

Tomorrow is National Day of Theofascist Prayer

All other prayers don't count. Only those about Bu$h matter.

You, too, can just declare yourself "a sample of Jesus"

Benny Hinn did, and now he's rich. Jesus wants everyone to be rich. He only loves rich people.

Jerry Falwell approves of adultery, spouse abuse

If he didn't, he'd say something about this jerk, Sherwood.

Big Oil's excuses are lies

Bu$h is their whore.

Clinton didn't do it. Neither did environazis or shortages. It's all about windfall profits.

Ohio's Ken Blackwell: Feudal theofascist

They want 49 more like him, and they'll use the Diebold machines to put them in power. If we let them.

All republican judges are corrupt fascists

Following a Salon report, top Democrats say Bush nominee Terrence Boyle's record is "outrageous" and that he has "no place on the federal bench."

Bu$h betrays Taiwan

Likes Chinese communists a lot more.

BOHICA: $5/gal gas on the way

Bend Over, Here It Comes. I hope everyone who voted for Bu$h is happy with all the consequences.

ExxonMobil to keep screwing us

Why should we expect the world's biggest criminals to offer us any "help?"

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Theofascist opposition to Plan B increases demand for abortions

How will Bu$h mandate chastity belts for all unmarried females in America?

Bu$h losing war he already won twice

Afghanistan going to hell in a handbasket. Opium trade up 400% since he won the war there the first time. Georgie, you're doing a heckuva job.

BREAKING: Republicans don't just ignore laws, they actually have sex

We thought they were all celibate.

CIA as corrupt as rest of Bu$hCo.

I knew it! Clinton still runs everything, forces Big Oil to raise gas prices

Bu$h helpless against such power as Clinton's.

There's still time

Always click image to enlarge.

BREAKING: Cheney comes out against traditional marriage

Confesses he loves his gay daughter. Falwell's head reportedly on fire.

Liberty University (sic) burns to the ground

No response to new study about evolution's faster rate at equator.

Theofascists hate women

People like Falwell and Dobson want "church" to be more macho to recruit more men. But they'll keep women around to cook and teach Sunday School for little kids.

National Anthem sung in Spanish at first Bu$h innaugural

He sang it in Spanish, too. But that was before he realized he could use it to divide America even more.

Jerry Falwell doesn't care about sex slavery

This woman does.

Republicans hate farmers

They truly believe they're the only ones entitled to any money at all. They mean to turn America into a feudal theocracy where a few old, white men own everything, and the rest of us should be glad we're serfs, and not slaves...although slavery has never been far off the table.

Most recent proof Lamar Alexander is an idiot: National Anthem in Spanish since 1919

Lamar! couldn't find his @$$ with both hands and a flashlight.

Who republicans really are: Racists and fascists

New proof, but this info is not new. They've always been that way.

Bu$h v. that "&%@$% piece of paper"

Jebya snubs Falwell, still supports murdering fetuses

When will Florida just break off from the continent and drift on down to the Bermuda Triangle where it belongs? And take Alabama with it.

52-year-old granny, Naval reservist called up; Bu$h twins nowhere near a uniform

She's a Special Ed teacher being forced to leave her kids before the school year ends. More of Bu$h's war on public education. Falwell reportedly overheard giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.

Fa-Lip Fa-Lop with a Triple Gainer

Bu$h was for singing the National Anthem in Spanish before he was against it.

If only he had

"Some say" Bu$h was "ready to blow" after Colbert's roasting the other night.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Bu$h turned down offer to kill Zarqawi

The urban myth about Clinton turning down a chance to get Osama is just that. This happens to be true.

Three years ago today, Bu$h was on a plane that landed on an aircraft carrier

Cue "My Hero" from Victor Herbert's operetta, THE CHOCOLATE SOLDIER.

The real mission he accomplished

Ask a theofascist: Why doesn't Jerry Falwell care about Darfur genocide?

Does he think all Sudanese are judges?

Peace 1, Bu$h 0

Turkey won't host WW III. Bu$h must not have cut them in on Iraq's oil.

One more part of the cancervative war on public education

High fuel costs force TN school system to close for second day. Jerry Falwell celebrates, hunts more judges.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Why gas prices are high

Click image to enlarge.


Or the real reason

Aren't we all glad fiscally responsible republicans are in charge?

Billions...that's frackin' BILLIONS wasted in Iraq.

Ultra-theofascist wacko moves to Southern Baptist college

A Tennessee professor who teaches the biblical version of creation will lead the Center for Theology and Science at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Next: Old Testament proves God, not Bill Gates, invented Windows.

Thousands celebrate Bu$h's victory in Iraq

Can I work at FAUXNEWZ yet?

(Crawl) "Did protestors smuggle terists into NYC?"

Pray for lower gas prices, fair elections, return to Constitutional government

Bu$h says to pray for no hurricanes, so...

How to handle people like, Mussolini

The Italians finally gave Il Duce what he deserved; sadly, 20 years late.

If you voted for Bu$h, you voted for price gouging at the gas pump

$100/barrel crude expected soon.

Bu$h's Energy Secretary says they're going to keep screwing us for at least three more years...aka the rest of Bu$h's time in office. But probably beyond, too. Who's going to stop them, Daschle? Lieberman?

Big Oil, GOP use our own money to screw us further

"Motorists should remember that amazing figure, 260 percent, every time they stick a Chevron pump handle into the gas tank," said Judy Dugan of FTCR. "They should also remember that Chevron is using these profits to bankroll its anti-consumer and anti- environmental agenda in this environmentally conscious state."


Jerry Falwell still doesn't care how many people die in Darfur

Only libruls and those commie celebrities care about genocide on the other side of the world. Falwell is keeping us safe from judges, science and married queers.

The Pentagon wants to waste even more of our money on stupid crap that doesn't work, and even if it did, we'll never need it

How 'bout some more of those missile shields and Johnny-Seven OMA rifles?

Bu$h no longer accountable to the American people

He only reports to his masters in Big Oil.

Who republicans really are: "Death to Susan Sarandon"

Thomas Ice: Theofascist guru

He makes the Falwellians seem like Captain Kangaroo.

Theofascists have declared war on the Episcopal Church

Falwell's "faith" is the only one God wants in America...if you believe Falwell.

The Washington Window, the newspaper of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington has joined a growing number of publications inside and outside mainline Christianity that have published exposes of the efforts of rightist agencies to destabilize the historic mainline Protestant churches in the U.S.
The two-part series by former Washington Post and New York Times reporter James Naughton examines, according to a press release, the network of conservative groups, "their donors and the strategy that has allowed them to destabilize the Episcopal Church.... The groups represent a small minority of church members, but relationships with wealthy American donors and powerful African bishops have made them key players in the fight for the future of the Anglican Communion "to warn deputies that they must repent of their liberal attitudes on homosexuality or face a possible schism."


Bu$h has done exactly what Osama wanted him to do

Accidentally or on purpose?

Jerry Falwell agrees that God told Bu$h to ignore any law he didn't like

To date, the count is over 750 laws that don't apply to republicans and theofascists.

Those wacky Baptists are at it again

Prime Directive: Get rid of the queers! Everything else is secondary.

Processional hymn: #143 "They Will Know We Are Chrixtains By Our Hate"